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A Backwards Guide to Everyday Life the Diary/Blog of Chris Sarda, Get Your Man To Cook!

Chris's Guide To Getting Your Husband to Cook(listening to John Coltrane) You know and I know most men do not like to cook. Of course there a few that love it and when they love cooking it creates another problem which we won't get to at this moment. In general, it's difficult to get men to cook and I'm one of those guys. I just don't like it. It takes too long and makes too many dishes etcetera etcetera…. But women! If you want your man to cook you only need to make one small concession, buy a grill and love grilled food. I don't know what it is in a man's genes but we love to grill. Grilling is in our blood, it must come from the old caveman days of catching food and cooking it over an open fire. That's only a guess though, I really don't know why we love big pieces of meat, marinated in our own special marinade (if you're lucky and nice I might tell my secret), sitting over the fire watching the raw red meat turning brown. Oh my god! Why aren't I grilling now right this minute???!!! There is definitely something primal about it, one thing about Europe though (at least the parts of Europe I've been to) is that they're just not into the thick American steak that we so love, the New York Steak or the T-Bone. I don't know what it is or why Americans are willing to pay 30-80 dollars for a good steak in a restaurant in a place like Vegas or 10 dollars for one to cook on your own but we do it and that's definitely in my blood. So I have only a couple more days in Poland and with my wife and she still has to work, we have a couple decent pieces of meat to cook, not my kind of meat, but still they're good and I'm going to grill. Unfortunately it's not on a charcoal grill, it has to be on this electric grill I have since we live in an old communist flat for the moment there's not a lot of choice (if I were speaking in a more ‘American' way I'd probably call it an apartment or a studio by the way). But any other time I'm a huge charcoal guy, and while I don't hate propane barbeques I'd for sure choose charcoal over any of them. Here's a little poem I made up right now: To charcoal is divine and, I'm not against propane, But to fry is insane. I'm so talented… Anyway I had to concoct a marinade one day and I was lucky to have these ingredients here and I'm going to share them with you, something I've refused to do before, my marinades used to be kept like nuclear launch codes. It may sound weird but you'll get a great piece of meat I promise or your money back. First buy a strong beer, don't worry if you don't drink the fire burns all the alcohol, then buy some V8 or whatever mixed vegetable juice you can find, one that has like 7 different veggies mixed together. Get some kind of liquid MSG every country has a different brand name, it's what Asians put in their soup if you're unfamiliar, some paprika and a good amount of pepper then press the meat into the mixture and let it set for some time. You'll have to figure out your own amounts though. Anyway that's about it, and for all you women, that's the way to get your man to cook buy him a nice grill and you'll get masterpiece dinners at least on the weekends!

Chris's Guide To Getting Your Husband to Cook(listening to John Coltrane)

You know and I know most men do not like to cook. Of course there a few that love it and when they love cooking it creates another problem which we won't get to at this moment. In general, it's difficult to get men to cook and I'm one of those guys. I just don't like it. It takes too long and makes too many dishes etcetera etcetera…. But women! If you want your man to cook you only need to make one small concession, buy a grill and love grilled food. I don't know what it is in a man's genes but we love to grill.

Grilling is in our blood, it must come from the old caveman days of catching food and cooking it over an open fire. That's only a guess though, I really don't know why we love big pieces of meat, marinated in our own special marinade (if you're lucky and nice I might tell my secret), sitting over the fire watching the raw red meat turning brown. Oh my god! Why aren't I grilling now right this minute???!!! There is definitely something primal about it, one thing about Europe though (at least the parts of Europe I've been to) is that they're just not into the thick American steak that we so love, the New York Steak or the T-Bone. I don't know what it is or why Americans are willing to pay 30-80 dollars for a good steak in a restaurant in a place like Vegas or 10 dollars for one to cook on your own but we do it and that's definitely in my blood.

So I have only a couple more days in Poland and with my wife and she still has to work, we have a couple decent pieces of meat to cook, not my kind of meat, but still they're good and I'm going to grill. Unfortunately it's not on a charcoal grill, it has to be on this electric grill I have since we live in an old communist flat for the moment there's not a lot of choice (if I were speaking in a more ‘American' way I'd probably call it an apartment or a studio by the way). But any other time I'm a huge charcoal guy, and while I don't hate propane barbeques I'd for sure choose charcoal over any of them. Here's a little poem I made up right now:

To charcoal is divine and,

I'm not against propane,

But to fry is insane.

I'm so talented… Anyway I had to concoct a marinade one day and I was lucky to have these ingredients here and I'm going to share them with you, something I've refused to do before, my marinades used to be kept like nuclear launch codes. It may sound weird but you'll get a great piece of meat I promise or your money back. First buy a strong beer, don't worry if you don't drink the fire burns all the alcohol, then buy some V8 or whatever mixed vegetable juice you can find, one that has like 7 different veggies mixed together. Get some kind of liquid MSG every country has a different brand name, it's what Asians put in their soup if you're unfamiliar, some paprika and a good amount of pepper then press the meat into the mixture and let it set for some time. You'll have to figure out your own amounts though. Anyway that's about it, and for all you women, that's the way to get your man to cook buy him a nice grill and you'll get masterpiece dinners at least on the weekends!