Dr. Laura: Jenny, welcome to the program.
Jenny: Oh, hi, Dr. Laura. It's certainly an honor to speak with you. I am so proud to say I am my kids' mom. Dr. Laura: Excellent.
Jenny: I am calling about my son, who's twelve. He takes piano lessons and has for several years. We have been using the same person, and I have to give you this background so you understand my question.
Dr. Laura: Okay.
Jenny: We live in a small community. We see the piano instructor socially from time to time. She is disorganized with her time, lacking in certain aspects of the music lesson itself, and kind of wastes time when he is there having a lesson.
Dr. Laura: How does she waste time?
Jenny: Looking for music, taking phone calls. When he walks in, his thirty-minute lesson usually turns out to be maybe fifteen or twenty, bottom line. And I'm wondering if it's right to tell her the absolute truth why we're not wanting to return? Dr. Laura: Yes, I think so, because I think that's how you help people. And again, like the prior lady talking to her husband about sex, it's the same sort of thing. You don't do it in a way that's condemning, you say, "You know what? We're having a problem. The lesson's supposed to be a half hour, and he's really enjoying when he learns, but you're taking calls and looking for things, and I just need this to be a more focused, intense half-hour. I would really appreciate that. Is that something you think we can move toward?" So it's nothing mean, it's nothing "You're an idiot, I hate you and I'm leaving," but it's specifying what you would like, and asking her if that's something she can give you. If she says, "This is not something I can do, this is the way I function," you say, "You know what? Let's finish off the month and maybe I'm just more compulsive than the average mom, but I'm wanting something a little more rigorous," and even ask her for a referral. So I think these things should be dealt with, because then she has something to think about. You can't be the only person who's getting dismayed, and when somebody finally gives information to somebody, straight up front and kindly, often they can do something positive in their own lives. So I vote for you discussing it without your son there.
Jenny: Thank you, that's how I felt. Dr. Laura: And call me back after and tell me if she was decent about it.
Jenny: Okay, I certainly will do that.
Dr. Laura: Or if she took a phone call in the middle. [laughter] I'm Dr. Laura Schlessinger, I'll be right back.
