Part 1
According to Family Services Canada, approximately 12% of children are bullies. Additional research confirms that bullying occurs frequently: once every seven minutes on the playground and once every twenty-five minutes in class according to a study by Craig and Pepler in 1997.
To reduce and prevent bullying, it is important to consider not only the bully and victim, but also peers, school staff, parents, and the broader community. The best approach at school is to develop a clearly stated code of behaviour with consistent follow-through.
All school staff should participate in educational sessions, together with parent and student representatives. Once adults learn to recognize problem behaviour and how to stop it, they can supervise and intervene more successfully.
Parent meetings and newsletters should address the problems of bullying. Parents need to talk to their children about bullying and look for signs of potential victimization. Communication between parents and school is essential, as parents are often the first to find out that their children are being bullied. Peers also play a critical role in the reduction of bullying. If students are taught how to intervene appropriately, how to get adult assistance, and how to empathize with victims and condemn aggression, bullying can be reduced.
Bullies and victims require individual attention. Bullies should be told that their behaviour is not acceptable and that they will suffer consequences established in the code of behaviour. If a group of children are being bullied, bullies and bystanders should be brought to task. Victims need to be encouraged to speak up and ensured that their school will protect them from further harassment. Parents of bullies should be informed of their children's behaviour and enlisted to discipline the behaviour and mentor their child to help prevent further occurrences of bullying or victimization. Bullying behaviour may seem rather insignificant compared to the trouble that some kids can get into. In fact, it is often dismissed as just another part of "growing up." It shouldn't be. Statistics show that one in four children who bully will have a criminal record before the age of thirty. Teasing at bus stops, taking other children's lunch money, insults and threats, kicking and punching - it's all fair game to the bully. On the flip side, fear of bullies causes many kids to avoid school or carry and even use weapons for protection. While everyone is a potential bullying target, victims typically tend to be shy, sensitive, anxious, or insecure. Children are picked on for many reasons, including being overweight, being small, having a disability, or being an ethno-cultural minority.
If you suspect that one of your children is being bullied, here are some tips on what to do:
Listen. Encourage your children to talk about school, social events, other kids in class, and the walk or ride to and from school so you can identify any problems they may be having.
Take their complaints of bullying seriously. Probing a seemingly minor incident may uncover something more serious. Children are often afraid or ashamed to tell anyone that they have been bullied.
Watch for symptoms of victimization such as withdrawal, a drop in grades, torn clothes, or demands for extra money.
Tell the school or day care immediately if you think that your children are being bullied.
Work with other parents to ensure that the children in your neighbourhood are supervised on their way to and from school.
Don't bully your children yourself, physically or verbally. Use non-physical, consistently-enforced discipline measures. Don't ridicule, yell at, or ignore your children when they misbehave. Teach them the social skills they need to make friends. A confident, resourceful child who has friends is less likely to be bullied or to bully others.
Praise kindness toward others. Show children that kindness is valued.
Teach children ways to resolve arguments without violent words or actions. Talk about self-protection skills - how to walk confidently, to stay alert to their environment, and to stand up for themselves verbally.
